How rude!
The Washington Post recently ran a column from Miss Manners where she recommended people with diabetes only check their blood sugar out of sight. Specifically, she advised we go into an airplane bathroom to check, rather than possibly disturbing those around us. This is wrong for many, many reasons.
When my son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes just before he turned two, we decided we wouldn’t hide anything about his care. Before he started on his insulin pump he was taking 6-8 shots every day and we checked his blood sugar by pricking his finger even more frequently. I did all this on the playground, in other people’s homes, in movie theaters. I tried to be discreet (not really possible with anything involving a toddler!) but I never felt that I had to hide in a bathroom. Diabetes and its management isn’t something to be ashamed of.
Bathroom airplanes are pretty gross – and pretty small. I’m also fairly certain Miss Manners didn’t consider how much time one spends on a plane without being allowed to actually get up and walk to the restroom. I never thought about this before having children. You may not get out of your seat while waiting to take off (no matter if the plane is number 1 or number 25 in line), during some of the flight (just after takeoff, turbulence or anytime the drink cart blocks the aisle) and 20 minutes before you land. If I suspect my child’s blood sugar is low during those times, Miss Manners would rather I let him crash than to subject those around me to the horror that is a discreet blood sugar check.
I know the sight of blood makes some people uncomfortable. But modern diabetes testing equipment draws less than a drop. You never see a needle, although you may hear a click. Good manners are all about consideration of others, so if you see me or my child pull out our diabetes kit, please consider this: testing keeps my kid healthy. Testing saves lives. Miss Manners is a moron.
Amen! People don’t need to watch! Turn away if you dont want to see my child make sure she is not about to pass out and not too high where she is feeling sick. Miss Manners needs an education.
And if Miss Manners thinks it is so offensive then she should make a big donation to JDRF….only way to get us to stop testing our children in public is to turn Type One into Type None!
Ha! Miss Manners needs a reality check and a new job because she’s an idiot when it comes to offering medical care advice. Wish it was that easy to just go to the bathroom to check my daughters blood. Time just doesn’t allow for medical emergencies. Good luck in life, Miss Manners!
I agree with the moms. My daughter should not have to feel like she needs to hide her diabetes, checking her blood sugar levels not only keeps her healthy it keeps her alive! How inconsiderate of miss manners.
I couldn’t agree more!!! People need to mind their own beeswax. I’m a 25 -year- old type 1, and being open about my diabetes is the only way I’m going to successfully manage my diabetes (hence why I started my blog!) I think it’s a little shameful that someone would come out and directly tell diabetics when and where we chose to prick our poor little fingers – this ain’t our fault, Miss Manners. If I need a juice or correction, I need it now! Not when I’m at 10,000 ft on a plane, have to climb over 7 sleeping strangers, and can finally get up and go to the restroom.
I will check my son’s sugar NO matter where I am. I don’t care who sees me or what they think. So miss manners.. you have very bad manners. Don’t like it don’t look. It’s part of life. If we didn’t check them they would crash and go into a coma. That’s something I am not willing to do. Grow up and get a life. If you understood diabetes you wouldn’t suggest this. Get a clue!!!
It’s like breast feeding. If you don’t like it, DON’T look. Until there is a cure, I will test, administer insulin, break out the Glucagon and whatever else I need to do to keep my seven-year-old daughter (diagnosed at age 4) ALIVE. And we’d all be better served if Miss Manners would tell people that make snarky comments to butt out. It’s not like we do this for fun.
OH HELL NO!!!!! What a stupid idea. Those who deal with diabetes daily have no reason to be ashamed! People can look away if they do not want to see it. My daughter was 4 when she was diagnosed. Our openness about her needs helped teach many, many children compassion. One of them actually saved her life during a low blood sugar episode in 1st grade.
When I read the suggestion of having to check my blood sugar in the bathroom, I was horrified. Public restrooms are filthy, let alone airplane ones. The other part about children inquiring about what the diabetic was doing and hiding the disease from them was just idiotic! Children should know what diabetes is, especially type one. It would have made my childhood easier. I welcome the opportunity to educate and let people know we type 1s and other diabetics are no different than any one else. I openly check my blood sugars in my office, at restaurants, in stores, wherever I am. I wear my pink pump on my pocket for the world to see I’m a type 1 diabetic. And guess what? I meet more type 1s that way. Most way younger than me. We hide our disease so much, I cannot believe someone blatantly suggested we hide it even more. It’s sickening.
Amen! And bless you for taking Ms.Manners to task. I originally read this via Diabetes Day’s website and I tweeted the heck out of it. You are 100% on point. Ms. (Bad) Manners IS a complete moron! I would LIVE to see more T1 parents lambaste her and educate her on life as a T1 or parent if a T1. Maybe then she will wise up and realize just how ignorant she is! I for one will keep advocating and informing until I am sure she finally gets it!
Thank you so much for this post. Managing Type 1 Diabetes is difficult under great circumstances. Anyone with good manners would politely look away as I discretely test my sugar or take a quick injection. It is a huge inconvenience not to produce insulin. It is no inconvenience for people who are bothered to look away as I do something for my body that their body dares to do in front of me all the time!
Dear Miss Manners,
Shame on the Washington Post for even running such an ignorant, self-serving, completely clueless, disrespectful article written by a complete idiot! Miss Manners…could use a few lessons on “Manners” herself! My son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at 5yrs. old, and should Not ‘hide’ anything or be discriminated against because someone might feel uncomfortable! I’m sure my son feels ‘Uncomfortable’ getting his finger pricked 8-10 times a day and a pump inserted in his side at all times! HELLO MISS IGNORANT…this IS a life and death issue here!!! Next you’ll be asking that people leave their oxygen tanks at home cause it’s not pleasant to look at, or a hat on their head cause they’ve lost their hair from cancer treatments! There is in fact a Space Station…maybe NASA can work something out for you so you won’t be “Disturbed” by us Human Beings!!! Your Welcome…Mrs. Reality Check!!!
I couldn’t agree more. She needed an education on diabetes before she spoke about it. I don’t ever want my son to feel like he needs to hide his diabetes or be ashamed of it. I can’t imagine suggesting someone go in a dirty gross bathroom to take care of medical needs. I want him to always feel like we can check anywhere, anytime he needs.
What’s sad is that miss Simm’s perspective is probably not all that unusual. The reality is few people understand what diabetes truly is- nor do they comprehend the differences between type 1 & 2. Much of this ignorance is due to the one sides perspective the media has taken on discussions surrounding the disease. When discussed , it’s lumped together, the drastic differences become homogenized under issues of lifestyle & healthy food choices. I have never seen a piece in the media related to diabetes that in any way clearly & succinctly flushes out the differences and I think that due to this, many uneducated people (in relation to the disease) don’t fully grasp the urgency of care & management. They don’t understand when a child is acting strange who has T1D it’s not something that can be postponed until a convenient time to test us found. Urgency is constant and action must be swift and immediate most especially when dealing with young children. Treatment must also be this way. There have been many times I’ve been met with ignorance while trying to help my son (now 6, diagnosed at. 2). Once even by a woman w. T2d! We whipped into the very wide entrance of a parking lot to test after hearing the tell tale moaning a and we’re met by severe rebukes. Trying to explain we would only be a moment so we could do a blood tset the woman said she didn’t care and that she had T2, hypertension, etc etc… We were blown away and when she threatened to call the cops on us we welcomed her to. Ignorance is rampant. Educate when and where you can
It sounds like Ms. Manners is not a diabetic nor has never known anyone who is. Clearly if she did, she would understand how vitally important and urgent it is for us to check our blood sugar and take insulin. Shame on her for shaming all diabetics when we already have a difficult enough time being “normal”!!!!
Get a life! Seriously. There are way more important issues in life to think about rather than offending your ugly mug!
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Miss Manners definitely needs educating…Look forward to a retraction.
If I have to endure people blowing their nose around me, on planes and in restaurants; I think my sons tiny drop of blood shouldn’t be an issue at all. Ignorant statements like Miss Manners just shows how much work we have to educate the public on Type 1 Diabetes. Testing is just one step in keeping our diabetic loved ones alive and I don’t care who sees it.
Testing my Childs blood suger its a part of her daily living and i will not make my seven year old feel ashamed of her being a diabetic were she may not take proper care when she is older in fear of offending.
Miss “Manners” missed the mark. She should have taken this opportunity to point out it is rude to stare at people. It is the gawkers who are rude not the person taking care of themselves.
I wonder if Miss Manners would have told someone to go to the bathroom to use their Epi pen.
Amen! My son was diagnosed at 3. We made the decision not to make him feel like he needed to hide. As long as he is comfortable, we take his blood sugar and give his shot wherever. If someone has a problem with it, look away. My child will not go into a dirty bathroom to test his blood sugar. He and his friends know that this is our normal. I sorry that Miss Manners felt the need to weigh in on a subject she clearly knows nothing about.
Miss Manners should be called Miss Uneducated. She needs to study the subject before assuming she knows something!
Her advice IS rude and the same as telling a new mom to go into the bathroom to breastfeed. Clearly she doesn’t understand Diabetes at all! When I took my grandson to play at other kids homes, who were unaware of his Type 1 Diabetes, I would give the kids and parents an education. They all wanted to see what that entailed and hovered over us while we checked his blood. One day, the kids at school who hadn’t learned about his T1D tried to take away his pump, thinking it was a cell phone or electronic gadget made for fun. So THANK YOU for sharing and bringing awareness.
I agree! I can cross my leg and hide what I’m up to, prick that finger under the table and find out how I’m doing, accidentally cut my finger and run to the machine (taking advantage of the system) and by golly, I can check my sugar while driving on Interstate 55! I know it sounds rather dangerous, but you’ve just got to do what you’ve got to do. Apparently, Miss Manners doesn’t have a clue.
Janet
Absolutely! Well said.
I’ve had type 1 diabetes since 2012 and am on MDI. When I was first diagnosed I used to keep to bathrooms and it made me feel so ashamed and it was just plain awkward. It took me a long time but I am now comfortable and test everywhere! I think it makes me a responsible diabetic. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Next time I’m near a playground (where I sometimes take to do workouts outdoors) I’ll think of you!
If Miss Manners doesn’t want to see people check their blood sugar, perhaps SHE should stay home. Better yet, she could help researchers find a cure so my little boy doesn’t need to check his blood any longer.
The plane having a small bathroom or waiting to take off is irrelevant. What is relevant is that my child’s life depends on checking her blood sugar 9 times a day. That takes priority over anyone who is uncomfortable possibly seeing a small drop of blood. To suggest we go in hiding to do this only shows the ignorance of the person who said it and their total lack of understanding for this disease.
My son will be 9 in 2 weeks he was diagnosed at 2 1/2 with Type 1. We have taught him that taking care of his diabetes is his #1 priority which means you do what you have to do WHEN and WHERE you have to do it!!! Because of his openness with his disease and taking care of it, he has converted several older diabetics to the insulin pump and they LOVE it!!
I agree …why do it in a restaurant and gross out everybody? I do it in private, even at home if people are around!
I couldn’t be more offended by the statement she made in her column. I have been diabetic for 25 years and am 25 years old and have never felt the need to leave the dinner table or leave my seat on an airplane to test, which takes 5 seconds. My message to Miss Manners: I test by blood sugar to stay alive, one thing that you do to stay alive is eat. Maybe you should eat your meals in the bathroom so as not to disturb those around you. My request is just as absurd as hers. Should someone with cancer, going through chemo, have to wear a wig so as not to draw attention and disturb others around them? No, of course not! You wouldn’t make that request of someone with cancer, why request people with diabetes to hide their disease?
Wow, how ignorant. My first concern is my daughters safety, not that other people may be offended by her condition. It’s bad enough having to cope with type 1 diabetes without idiots like her making them feel bad. She really needs educating.
Miss Manners does not have any manners. I am quite sure her attitude would change if she had a child with T2D.
Yup, Miss Manners obviously needs to be educated more! Just so sad on her/his part!!
I totally agree. My daughter checks her sugar when she needs to where ever that may be before going on pump a few months ago she would do her shots where ever she was also. This is her and it doesn’t bother her she was diagnosed at 8 and is now 16. Just a fact of life for her. She doesn’t feel bad and no one else should ether due to this is something that must be done. My daughter has checked in classroom even when you are low you are low better that then passing out on way to nurse or somewhere else. Miss Manners is crazy we live in a different age now and these are just normal parts of children and adults lives with diabetes. Diabetes is a horrible disease that people have to live with worrying about hiding this from others is crazy like it’s something they need to be ashamed of.
Isn’t it good manner to say nothing about that which you know nothing? Miss Manners best shut her mouth.
3 words for Miss Manners
Kiss my a*s
Muitas pessoas vivem escondendo seus problemas e acabam querendo que os outros tambem facam. Acredito que o momento do teste de glicemia pode servir como informacao para quem nao conhece sobre o diabetes.
I hope my daughter (13) never ever sees Miss Manners’ article. She was diagnosed about 19 months ago, and thankfully has no problem testing or bolusing in public. But as self conscious as girls her age are, if she had any inkling that other people might think that she was being rude or insensitive, she would be horrified–and much less likely to test herself when out and about. If she thought she had to take the extra step of finding a public bathroom each time she had to test, I’m telling you she (and I suspect many other teens) just wouldn’t do it at all. As if things aren’t difficult enough for kids (and adults) living with T1D–now they need to consider that their testing is offensive? Seriously?
My son has had diabetes since he was 11. He is now 18. He already feels like an outcast because he can’t do the same things as his friends as far as being able to eat and move on. He has to pay attention to what he eats, check his sugar and then calculate his insulin every time he eats. He shouldn’t have to be shuffled off into solitary confinement just so others aren’t offended. There’s nothing remotely gross about his diabetic care.
As the mom of a 5 year old T1D, Miss Manners really hit a nerve. I sent her a message. Others should too. http://www.missmanners.com/ask-miss-manners.html
My message to her: “Should I teach my 5 year old type one diabetic daughter to be ashamed of her diabetes and test in public? NO. Educate yourself before you pass judgement. And for those type one diabetics who listen to your “advice”, I hope they stay safe. Yes, your advice could put people in danger.”
I am type 1. I am not about to hide in a bathroom to check my sugar. If it bothers you, feel free to look away. It’s not like I draw attention to myself while doing it. This knucklehead needs to open her mind before she opens her mouth.
I highly recommend Miss Horrible Manners bring her 7year olld, who struggles enough to feel “normal”, to anyplace and every three hours … Despite trying to make her life the least disrupted as possible with a life threatening disease … To check blood sugars In a “discreet” (read out of anyone else’s sight) place. Please try that on for your child … Or better yet … Yourself! Lot of bathroom time lady. Get educated.
I will never do mine behind closed doors. Do mine in front if my children and they are learning about diabetes and now ask me what my levels are like. Unfortunately I have been asked by police to stop testing taking insulin. This lady needs education
Well said, we never attempted to hide the fact our child has type 1. No one ever complained, and I don’t remember anyone being upset around it. Reallly, when was the last time you saw someone checking their sugar levels, standing up in a crowd and yelling “watch this!”.
Miss Manners takes PC too far.
Wow as a parent of a type 1 diabetic, I have taught my daughter that she is no different then anyone else. What you are saying will only hurt so many that suffer everyday. HIDE wrong answer, they need people to know they are so that if they are low or high people can help them. So when you go to sleep tonight think about how many diabetics may not wake up because of you. Get the facts before you write.
I am so disappointed in Miss Manners suggesting that a person go to the bathroom to test ones blood sugar. As far as the person being upset at the sight of blood, Get over yourselves, and thank God you do not have to live with this tastk. Also pray for those that do. Miss Manners if you lived with a chronic illness 24/7 I am sure you would have a better understanding to the problems and a lot more sympathy for those with any chronic illness..
Dear Ms. Manners. Obviously you do not have diabetes. As a person with diabetes, you don’t always have a chance to go some place discreet. If you are crashing you do it where ever you can without losing consciousness. I am not ashamed of being a diabetic, it was not by choice. People don’t even notice half the time that you are checking it unless they make it a big deal. You need to be educated on these types of things. It is not like changing a babies diaper in public. That would be disgusting. You are rude.
Miss asshole, please bend down so i can literally kick your sorry ass.. i can only pray that i will see you one day somewhere.. you ignorant bitch
Miss Mannners is not a moron, but she is clearly ignorant of the realities of diabetes care. And why shouldn’t she be, when popular media outlets (of which Washington Post is one) consistently mischaracterize the disease? Let us not heap abuse on the poor lady. Let us instead take the opportunity to respond.
What she clearly doesn’t understand is that testing is more like using an asthma inhaler than it is like, say, putting drops in your ears. I doubt very, very much that she would banish someone to the loo if they needed to use albuterol, because what if they pass out en route? Same thing with testing… The major difference is, where an asthma attack is symptomatic, low blood sugars often aren’t. My son can be crashing and shows a 38 on testing, yet be totally a symptomatic. And THAT is why I have to test him where we happen to be. Because I have no way of knowing if he is fine, if he is high, or if he is in the middle of a screaming blood glucose flame out.
Miss Manners has no experience with the latter. Otherwise she would likely respond differently.
I get so frustrated with people talking about diabetes like they have enough information to make a comment like that!! She should be embarrassed for such a ridiculous comment. My ten year old daughter is type one and for anyone to treat her any way other than a brave little girl for what she and all these kids have to deal with is shameful!! Thank you for writing this… I hope Miss Priss aka miss manners gets an opportunity to read it and learn how wrong she is.
Has Miss Manners ever stepped into a public bathroom? Can you say disgusting?! I will test my child’s blood sugar whenever & wherever I need too! If people are bothered by this, they can either look away or leave! My child’s health & well being are more important to me!
I am amazed at how little “Miss Manners” knows! Both of you are right. She is a moron that needs an education! I wonder if she could keep her child alive if they had diabetes! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Stacy! You are right. I have dealt with this issue since raising my son who got diabetes at age 24 months.
My daughter was diagnosed at age 10 (almost two years ago). We have NEVER taken her away from her activities to test her blood sugar or to dose insulin. If people might feel uncomfortable about a tiny amount of blood, imagine how much more uncomfortable they might feel if she lost consciousness! Miss Manners obviously doesn’t know this disease, and should not be expressing her opinion about it!
It was an adult (businessman) who wrote the inquiry to Miss Manners, not an infant, toddler, child or teen. I have been a type 1 for 20 years, and have always been as discreet as possible with my care. I feel better being in control of my surroundings when I am testing and giving shots. I would never assume that someone would not bump into me while performing said procedures.
Again, this article was in response to a grown adult, and never suggested that children (of any age) be held to such advised etiquette. In no way should anyone, diabetic or not, be ashamed of a disease that they has no cure and requires frequent medical procedures. They should not be ashamed if the need arises to perform said procedures in public view, I just think Miss Manners was merely advising the diabetic adults of this world to be as considerate as possible of others’ reactions. Unless it is an emergency, is it really that hard for an adult to do blood sugar checks and insulin shots in private? Nope, it is safer, in my opinion, and every bit as sanitary. Why worry that you might get bumped into by a stranger walking by? Alcohol pads should always be used before you test your blood sugar, and administer injections.
I understand, completely where you are coming from as a parent of a young child with diabetes. No need for a diabetic, at any age, to be ashamed of being able to live as normal a life as possible. But, what happened to being considerate of EVERYONE? Non-diabetics are people, too. They have rights to their opinion, too. Just Saying.
I am 48 and have been a type 1 diabetic for 20 years. It has taken me until now to test in public and take injections via the insulin pen in public. Honestly, I don’t care what people think! it is my health and my life at stake, so if it offends some people, look away! Airplanes are the most difficult. I always get the window seat with my husband next to me to provide a “barrier” to another person and am as discreet as possible. But I’d rather sacrifice the public’s distaste than wind up with low or high blood sugar!! our society is so tolerant of so many things nowadays, and this should be one of them. Miss Manners definitely needs an education!!
I agree with you. There are times when it is not convenient to “hide”. I think that it is ridiculous. People are too sheltered they need to know what life is like. If they don’t want to see something they can look away. Society seems to be too worried about what other people think and not concerned enough about people who have needs, such as insulin or checking blood sugar levels.
Clearly Miss Manners is not educated in the disease. Ignorance speaks volumes. Perhaps leaning on experts for her responses instead of making up answers would be of benefit to her readers and expand her horizons.
I always tell people that I will stop regulating my blood sugars in public when they do. You do not have the right to relegate me to the bathroom just because your body does it for you and mine cannot. NOT to mention the situations that are life threatening where a walk to the bathroom could result in my death. I am not the one with a problem with manners. I do not go waving blood around and drawing attention to myself or removing clothing or exposing anything that shouldn’t be so don’t be nosily staring at me and we won’t have an issue.
Miss Manners, more like Miss Ignorant. She needs some education on the topic. Sad that her misguided opinions passed by the editor without correction too.
Miss manners is an outdated item and belongs to the bathroom, she should flush herself down the toilet. People need to learn compassion and kindness not archaic rules of nonsense. I am not a diabetic nor have a diabetic family member and will gladly help when I see a mom testing her child on board.